Powerful Vacation Punch!
I write to calm down!!
Manifesting business is a crazy chase in this wild world. The kids need more guidance in everything. I need time dedicated to go learn about this new guidance. The house needs to be prepped for guests, or sale, or both. I can feel my brain melting and emotional fracturing, stitching the frayed ends of holding it together.
How about enjoying a nice vacation punch? Just thinking about this event horizon gives me some peace. The adrenaline rush to prep, for a short, but dream of a lifetime vacation, reminds me how much work it is to take some, much needed, time off. I’m so excited! How will it all fit in? I definitely need to plan a vacation from my vacation prep.
Adrenaline Rush
Adrenaline has been fully engaged and recruited to anxiety. Not healthy for my body or soul, but ooh…just think of the things I’m inspired to get done. There seems to be no off switch. This is amazingly productive. Perhaps I should do some Spring cleaning, host a garage sale, prep my house for sale. All would help me decide what to pack and find my favorite suitcase buried in the garage somewhere. This adrenaline is some sort of ADHD super power.
My current value may be the power punch list rather than the vacation. Now that’s a creepy thought! I recognize this pattern from more traumatic times, when life was spinning out control. Hmm…
What is this peculiar elevated Cascade Mountain High, that revs up the cycle to finish everything to get out the door, or even plan post-vacation re-entry? A control foothold within chaos.
Did I need to do all of this right now? Before traveling? It seems my determination for completion, perfection and work ethic, all demand attention at once AND I add things to the TO DO pile. There is no way I can finish all of this, even in a normal month. BUT it will feel so good if I do. Hmm…wondering.
Inspirational Vacation Moments
Once engaged, I want this vacation sensation forever, but life has taught me this anomalous vacation is just a delicious moment to savor, with the vacation days in between arrival and departure, a reprieve. The power punch list a well engrained work ethic value. I have forgotten how to embrace all of this as the synchronous unfolding.
I’m good at it, (the pattern that is), possibly addicted to it, but simply put, I don’t like it…not one bit. This is a well-learned BAD habit, AND I recognize I am not alone in this achievement. I believe there is more to life and am determined to find a way to acknowledge and change the pattern.
It catches my attention how well trained our society is to get it all done before we go, leaving us SO exhausted, we can only flop the first few days away and gear up again a few days before our vacation time is over. Worrying about what we missed or might miss, including flights. This hyper-vigilant pattern seems intrinsic to our culture and ultimately a repeatable and respected process.
Living the Dream
I ponder what is my goal in hammering at all of this? Did I leave it all until the last minute or attract it so I could get the adrenaline rush? Questioning my inner motivations: Do I have to earn my freedom? I even consider canceling my trip to accommodate THE list. No way…but just sayin’. AND it’s as if others sense my upcoming get away and conspire with me to add projects to my monster list.
Perhaps it comes down to letting go! Squawking a good talk around the goals of flow and ease, but when it comes right down to it, flow and ease are lower commitments than THE list. The problem is flow and ease no longer are my defaults. Not sure when this changed or was trained into me. At this point, (jokingly) I might not know them if they hit me directly in the face. My commitment to perfection, and not letting anyone down supersedes my commitment to finding flow and ease. I respect my work ethic. Wow this is shocking! Is exhausting myself how I receive validation for a good work ethic? This is a crazy thing to voice.
Good thing I have a super long trip ahead…this should give me ample time to reflect on this pattern. I wonder if I can create anxiety by just thinking about it? YEP… Sure enough. It landed on the fantastical to do list.
Moments to take my Breath Away
Okay…off to another yoga class for me. I need help breathing and need to calm down, so I can go on vacation! Crap…I don’t know if I can fit this into my schedule. Well isn’t that hilariously rich…I can see in my writing how I can create an adrenaline hype just to get to yoga. Sustained, it becomes anxiety. I need this yoga to take the edge off. Amazing to spot me reinforcing the perfection of scheduling and practicing yoga. How deep is this poetic pattern? Wow, just wow!
I’m an expert…I can transform yoga into anxiety. HA, it’s magic! Just watch me.
Imagine if I could transform simple things like washing the dishes, sipping tea, staging a house, or doing yoga into little mini vacations. I could practice enjoying more time before and after each mini vacation. This could be a painful stretch, but beneficial. I could get SOOOOO good at this, my next vacation get away could be dreamy and calm for at least a week before and after my travels. Prepping by relaxing. Now this is worth putting on the To Do list. How’s about a soothing Vacation Punch List…
Postcard Perfect
Well clearly I need to start where I am and realign a few priorities to make room for this new dreamy lifestyle. For the moment, I’m going to calm down and see if I can let a few things self sort, right off of my vacation and life punch lists.
Funny, I imagine I feel calmer already. Does this count?
I can hardly wait for the vacation sensation of time feeling broken, with time management out the window. Sipping coffee at the café, watching the world go by, taking time to embrace new dreams. Perhaps, I am redefining my version of relaxation. So many new ingredients to put in the vacation punch.
Time will tell what makes the future dream list, the text/postcard worthy share, or gets packed in the memory box in the garage to be sorted later.
